chapter1 ... continued
Same was with my dearest of friends; he lived for his love affairs, with this world and its atmosphere, the narrow streets in large cities, and big highways in small countries, made in imitation of those in more modern and advanced civilizations. To him controversy was a way of life, the essence of what his existence meant, and even in love denial for him was ultimate. Loving some thing, and not being able to get it, to fight the desire and the wantonness, everything that was, had to have an opposite. For him at least, but not for me, his belief that everything that is must have a balancing effect, that if there were too much good in this world and no evil, this world would collapse, implode, unable to digest all the sweetness that was encaged in the tiny hemisphere. To him evil was necessary for good to exist.
That made it easy for him to understand the extent to which some people went to have their way, but for all the philosophy and the big words that were even banished from modern dictionaries, he was a romantic to the core. His constant failures to deny love, and acknowledge hate as the only true emotion in this world were invisible to his own eyes, yet surrounded him every where he went. This time, he was truly caught, for never before had he been bewitched by one of the opposite sex, the worst trap any romantic can fall into, true love mixed with a dash of denial and topped with lack of guts to go up to the person and say out loud what he felt.
The reason behind his newfound lack in confidence was that he had never loved something alive before this incident, something that has a choice and may say no when you said yes. He was trying to cover it up unsuccessfully, by saying that the extent to which he loved this woman, had to be balanced by her hating him, just as much as he hated himself for loving her or just as much as he loved her, which was by and large in the same ratio. The least he could do to maintain balance for the sake of the world was to make sure that she at least didn’t love him. That was as far as his hypocrisy went, he couldn’t make himself imagine being hated by his true love. That was a minor development in his otherwise unchangeable character. I had a feeling the next few months would bring about many changes in a terrain where change was a stranger.
Hassan, that is my friend’s name, thought that if he made her love him he would be part of another person’s dilemma. That some evil might befall another man, or animal for all the happiness he would be enjoying. Unbelievable to some, but true to a very large extent in Hassan’s mind which held nothing much in regard to opinions, and that too was usually borrowed from other people’s high headed discussions.....(continued)
That made it easy for him to understand the extent to which some people went to have their way, but for all the philosophy and the big words that were even banished from modern dictionaries, he was a romantic to the core. His constant failures to deny love, and acknowledge hate as the only true emotion in this world were invisible to his own eyes, yet surrounded him every where he went. This time, he was truly caught, for never before had he been bewitched by one of the opposite sex, the worst trap any romantic can fall into, true love mixed with a dash of denial and topped with lack of guts to go up to the person and say out loud what he felt.
The reason behind his newfound lack in confidence was that he had never loved something alive before this incident, something that has a choice and may say no when you said yes. He was trying to cover it up unsuccessfully, by saying that the extent to which he loved this woman, had to be balanced by her hating him, just as much as he hated himself for loving her or just as much as he loved her, which was by and large in the same ratio. The least he could do to maintain balance for the sake of the world was to make sure that she at least didn’t love him. That was as far as his hypocrisy went, he couldn’t make himself imagine being hated by his true love. That was a minor development in his otherwise unchangeable character. I had a feeling the next few months would bring about many changes in a terrain where change was a stranger.
Hassan, that is my friend’s name, thought that if he made her love him he would be part of another person’s dilemma. That some evil might befall another man, or animal for all the happiness he would be enjoying. Unbelievable to some, but true to a very large extent in Hassan’s mind which held nothing much in regard to opinions, and that too was usually borrowed from other people’s high headed discussions.....(continued)
posted by D at 14:57
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