The Discomfort that diarrhea entails! (PART 1)
If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend
(Stone Temple Pilots)
An innuendo is an insinuation (and or an implication or suggestion).
Life is full of little innuendos, it at times seems to be built of these little one liners that people keep dishing out as if they are home grown in their back yard or back lawn or what ever those things with grass and other weeds is called. Turns out most of them are from forwards and other kinds of emails that these people send and receive over a period of time. Johnny was a little boy; Johnny was a happy little boy until he started receiving these forwards. He now is a big boy; he is a big boy because he hates, and hate, like love is an extreme emotion. Johnny hates these forwards and every other thing that these forwards accompany.
Diarrhea is an innuendo.
It is an innuendo because it is tells you what you have done (Implication of), and it definitely TELLS you what you have to do in the very near future (Suggestion). It plays with one’s mind, wages psychological warfare on the mind, body and soul of the victim. Almost all of us have gone through it at least once in our lives. Anyone who is old enough to get to this web page has frolicked with it once. It is a beautiful thing; it reminds you of how nice and serene the world is. It is more powerful than love OR making love. It leaves your knees wobbly like you had just laid eyes or hands on the most cherished of your possessions. The love of your lives may not bring that effect that diarrhea brings with it. Ignore what you consider discomfort; the rose would never ever be so beautiful had it not been for the thorns.
It all started with a bit of pizza, a bit of fun and a bit of soft drink. The bit became a bit more than the digestive system could handle independently. Maybe it didn’t like the taste of the pizza. I did enjoy the pizza thoroughly but the after math was not a sight to enjoy, not something to write home about.
It is strange, for someone like I , who enjoys a cup of tea while taking a dump it shouldn’t have been THAT gory, but the way I felt, it seemed as if I was ravaged by a creature come up from the dark pits of the universe, something out of a Stephen King book.
The darkness of the night, it was a cool night, cooler in comparison with the previous three weeks of blistering heat. The skies had opened up and the clouds wept with embarrassment as if they already knew what was about to befall my poor self. The wind whined out side, hitting the house with considerable anger, lightning crashing brings occasional sparks of light to the otherwise dark night. I slept unawares, enjoying the cool wind swirling down from my new ROYAL FAN (after having bought it was I told that you may NOT get Amina Haq with it, she only appears in the advertisement does not jump out of the box, I do not like her particularly but having her around wouldn’t have been bad at all). How? Oh how could it have occurred to naïve old me about how my life was going to change forever?
It was a lesson in relativity. Sharp pangs followed by even sharper ones, cramping in the abdominal/lower abdominal area, spasms in the lower back. It all felt familiar, as if I had heard about it somewhere. I feared the worst; I thought that it was a curse. The utter obsession with the opposite sex had at last come back to haunt me in the worst of manners possible. On the other hand I would be notoriously famous as the first man to ever have a menstrual experience, and since I was a man it meant I had no experience what so ever.
I was sure things were changing and that I would soon be a beautiful woman and go out and haunt the innocent city dwellers like in the stories only I would be Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hydi!. Just to be sure I gave my self a thorough anatomical examination, with the kind of pain I was in I felt like Rambo sewing himself in First Blood. The result was a negative (which in medical terms means good). I am sure that long time back a doctor gave a patient some test and when they came through, the doctor in all his wicked humor teased the patient saying the tests had been negative. This led to the patient swooning and nearing death, due to which the high humored doctor lied about how negative, was good in medical sciences. I am so sure about such stuff that it is scary.
Throughout this pain and confusion I was wondering that if it really happened and what with the recent negative tests, it would happen with my anatomy not supporting the correct accessories to go through painlessly with the experience. This thought sent a fresh shipment of ice shards down my lonely spine column. I knew I would scream, and I was wondering how I would feel and look like while screaming like a girl caught in a Hollywood horror / slasher flick???……..
(Stone Temple Pilots)
An innuendo is an insinuation (and or an implication or suggestion).
Life is full of little innuendos, it at times seems to be built of these little one liners that people keep dishing out as if they are home grown in their back yard or back lawn or what ever those things with grass and other weeds is called. Turns out most of them are from forwards and other kinds of emails that these people send and receive over a period of time. Johnny was a little boy; Johnny was a happy little boy until he started receiving these forwards. He now is a big boy; he is a big boy because he hates, and hate, like love is an extreme emotion. Johnny hates these forwards and every other thing that these forwards accompany.
Diarrhea is an innuendo.
It is an innuendo because it is tells you what you have done (Implication of), and it definitely TELLS you what you have to do in the very near future (Suggestion). It plays with one’s mind, wages psychological warfare on the mind, body and soul of the victim. Almost all of us have gone through it at least once in our lives. Anyone who is old enough to get to this web page has frolicked with it once. It is a beautiful thing; it reminds you of how nice and serene the world is. It is more powerful than love OR making love. It leaves your knees wobbly like you had just laid eyes or hands on the most cherished of your possessions. The love of your lives may not bring that effect that diarrhea brings with it. Ignore what you consider discomfort; the rose would never ever be so beautiful had it not been for the thorns.
It all started with a bit of pizza, a bit of fun and a bit of soft drink. The bit became a bit more than the digestive system could handle independently. Maybe it didn’t like the taste of the pizza. I did enjoy the pizza thoroughly but the after math was not a sight to enjoy, not something to write home about.
It is strange, for someone like I , who enjoys a cup of tea while taking a dump it shouldn’t have been THAT gory, but the way I felt, it seemed as if I was ravaged by a creature come up from the dark pits of the universe, something out of a Stephen King book.
The darkness of the night, it was a cool night, cooler in comparison with the previous three weeks of blistering heat. The skies had opened up and the clouds wept with embarrassment as if they already knew what was about to befall my poor self. The wind whined out side, hitting the house with considerable anger, lightning crashing brings occasional sparks of light to the otherwise dark night. I slept unawares, enjoying the cool wind swirling down from my new ROYAL FAN (after having bought it was I told that you may NOT get Amina Haq with it, she only appears in the advertisement does not jump out of the box, I do not like her particularly but having her around wouldn’t have been bad at all). How? Oh how could it have occurred to naïve old me about how my life was going to change forever?
It was a lesson in relativity. Sharp pangs followed by even sharper ones, cramping in the abdominal/lower abdominal area, spasms in the lower back. It all felt familiar, as if I had heard about it somewhere. I feared the worst; I thought that it was a curse. The utter obsession with the opposite sex had at last come back to haunt me in the worst of manners possible. On the other hand I would be notoriously famous as the first man to ever have a menstrual experience, and since I was a man it meant I had no experience what so ever.
I was sure things were changing and that I would soon be a beautiful woman and go out and haunt the innocent city dwellers like in the stories only I would be Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hydi!. Just to be sure I gave my self a thorough anatomical examination, with the kind of pain I was in I felt like Rambo sewing himself in First Blood. The result was a negative (which in medical terms means good). I am sure that long time back a doctor gave a patient some test and when they came through, the doctor in all his wicked humor teased the patient saying the tests had been negative. This led to the patient swooning and nearing death, due to which the high humored doctor lied about how negative, was good in medical sciences. I am so sure about such stuff that it is scary.
Throughout this pain and confusion I was wondering that if it really happened and what with the recent negative tests, it would happen with my anatomy not supporting the correct accessories to go through painlessly with the experience. This thought sent a fresh shipment of ice shards down my lonely spine column. I knew I would scream, and I was wondering how I would feel and look like while screaming like a girl caught in a Hollywood horror / slasher flick???……..
posted by D at 13:09
2 Comments:
One of the first (weeelll i guess we know others) if not THE first man to romanticize a bowel movement. Kudos. While uncommonly common, diorrhea is a rite of passage for some, or at least a Puckish good time for those not in the line of fire, figuratively speaking of course, although maintaining safe distance would be a smart idea.
I look forward to the sequel, and can only hope flatulence has a cameo, coz baby, its a star!
Once, in areply to a question i remember saying tht"wat I marvel at is a man 's capability to form majestic out of mundane, and this is a classic example of it. Bravo!!!!!man u have literally beautified the shit.
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