really one should really care

there are a lot of things that a man or a woman might want to say but cannot say them, there are various reasons why they are able to say them or not. however there is one thing any man or woman should easily be able to say, the word that comes to your mind when you accidently kick your bedpost with your knee or toe. Especially the toe, kick it just hard enough that a little bit of the nail is left attached to the more ably attached part of the anatomy. now after you wake up from your personal blackout you find out which condition your nail is in. for women it might be a consolation that they broke a nail and at least it wasnt one from the two hands. there isnt a third hand, if there were it would only spell more long nails and a higher consumption of nail polish and nail polish remover and other related items of use to women, cross dressing men, transvestites and other people who use nail polish (little kids who want to differentiate MY MUG from MY SISTERS MUG.
is nail polish, Polish? i guess i will never find out. or is simple polish, Polish? was polish used for the first time in Poland or did a Pole use it for the first time. if a Pole used it for the first time, who helped it? i mean, how can a POLE paint its own self. if it could paint would it let the Dog destroy it by raising one leg and doing it?
which reminds me of the freedom Dogs and cats and other such animals have. They can just go ahead and do it. especially the stray ones. we have so many double standards. Our pets are more free to do what they wanna do they we are. more over they are fed and we have to kill and eat (that might be one of the ways to define working for a large organiation). for every job you get, some ten people dont, or maybe more. so should we consider ourselves lucky? or just plain stupid? or undemocratic (since we are doing something that the majority aint doin?) or cruel cause we disallow someone from taking a job and going back broken hearted or hungry or somehting like that?

The Discomfort that diarrhea entails! (PART 1)

If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend
(Stone Temple Pilots)


An innuendo is an insinuation (and or an implication or suggestion).

Life is full of little innuendos, it at times seems to be built of these little one liners that people keep dishing out as if they are home grown in their back yard or back lawn or what ever those things with grass and other weeds is called. Turns out most of them are from forwards and other kinds of emails that these people send and receive over a period of time. Johnny was a little boy; Johnny was a happy little boy until he started receiving these forwards. He now is a big boy; he is a big boy because he hates, and hate, like love is an extreme emotion. Johnny hates these forwards and every other thing that these forwards accompany.


Diarrhea is an innuendo.

It is an innuendo because it is tells you what you have done (Implication of), and it definitely TELLS you what you have to do in the very near future (Suggestion). It plays with one’s mind, wages psychological warfare on the mind, body and soul of the victim. Almost all of us have gone through it at least once in our lives. Anyone who is old enough to get to this web page has frolicked with it once. It is a beautiful thing; it reminds you of how nice and serene the world is. It is more powerful than love OR making love. It leaves your knees wobbly like you had just laid eyes or hands on the most cherished of your possessions. The love of your lives may not bring that effect that diarrhea brings with it. Ignore what you consider discomfort; the rose would never ever be so beautiful had it not been for the thorns.

It all started with a bit of pizza, a bit of fun and a bit of soft drink. The bit became a bit more than the digestive system could handle independently. Maybe it didn’t like the taste of the pizza. I did enjoy the pizza thoroughly but the after math was not a sight to enjoy, not something to write home about.

It is strange, for someone like I , who enjoys a cup of tea while taking a dump it shouldn’t have been THAT gory, but the way I felt, it seemed as if I was ravaged by a creature come up from the dark pits of the universe, something out of a Stephen King book.

The darkness of the night, it was a cool night, cooler in comparison with the previous three weeks of blistering heat. The skies had opened up and the clouds wept with embarrassment as if they already knew what was about to befall my poor self. The wind whined out side, hitting the house with considerable anger, lightning crashing brings occasional sparks of light to the otherwise dark night. I slept unawares, enjoying the cool wind swirling down from my new ROYAL FAN (after having bought it was I told that you may NOT get Amina Haq with it, she only appears in the advertisement does not jump out of the box, I do not like her particularly but having her around wouldn’t have been bad at all). How? Oh how could it have occurred to naïve old me about how my life was going to change forever?

It was a lesson in relativity. Sharp pangs followed by even sharper ones, cramping in the abdominal/lower abdominal area, spasms in the lower back. It all felt familiar, as if I had heard about it somewhere. I feared the worst; I thought that it was a curse. The utter obsession with the opposite sex had at last come back to haunt me in the worst of manners possible. On the other hand I would be notoriously famous as the first man to ever have a menstrual experience, and since I was a man it meant I had no experience what so ever.

I was sure things were changing and that I would soon be a beautiful woman and go out and haunt the innocent city dwellers like in the stories only I would be Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hydi!. Just to be sure I gave my self a thorough anatomical examination, with the kind of pain I was in I felt like Rambo sewing himself in First Blood. The result was a negative (which in medical terms means good). I am sure that long time back a doctor gave a patient some test and when they came through, the doctor in all his wicked humor teased the patient saying the tests had been negative. This led to the patient swooning and nearing death, due to which the high humored doctor lied about how negative, was good in medical sciences. I am so sure about such stuff that it is scary.
Throughout this pain and confusion I was wondering that if it really happened and what with the recent negative tests, it would happen with my anatomy not supporting the correct accessories to go through painlessly with the experience. This thought sent a fresh shipment of ice shards down my lonely spine column. I knew I would scream, and I was wondering how I would feel and look like while screaming like a girl caught in a Hollywood horror / slasher flick???……..

i hate money, or rather the lack of it

You are standing on the sidelines, thinking, should i or should'nt i. and then you take that one fatal step. You step out of the beautifully air conditioned office, who cares if the office is decorated worth shit, it has air conditioners. They help you breath. You dont feel the gratitude while sitting in the office. Something hits your face like a hammer. you dont feel much, you cannot. The hair all over you body starts to burn and curl up as if you are standing in an inferno. It most definitely is HOT out there, but please pay no heed to mr. Nelly. Do not, i repeat DO NOT take off all or any of your clothes. You will only die of exposure. The other option is slow death, at the hands of the heat. A man thinks what hell would be like. The sweat your body gives off to keep you cool evaporates even before the glands can push any out. The realisation that you have got NO CAR dawns upon you with the heat of a thousand suns, you cease wondering and start trudging towards the nearest shade, only to find it occupied by enough people the body heat of those people could start a bush fire of its own if they were let loose in the bush. cant start a bush fire without a bush now can we. Amidst this chaos that reigns supreme in one's mind, one realises that one has been talking to one's ownself in the third person. "Man it is hot today, i think you should buy a car now, cant go on like this for long, cant go even a furlong anymore".
however in all this gloom, all the stupid idiomatic dark clouds that just arent there at that time, there is a silver lining. Women!
we happened to leave a client's office right next to liberty market, at about 1.30 pm, high noonish, sun was at its playful best. brows tightened and creased, cheeks reddened with anger, frustration, flustered by the sudden onslaught of amazing nuclear fusion fueled heat, eyes sightless, ears drumming with the last sounds of blood rushing past the tympanic membrane. Tounge stuck to the top of your mouth, no saliva there baby. And that was when we layed our eyes on God's greatest creation to date, WOMAN. All this confusion and there they were, in all calm like little secluded lakes. All of them, out SHOPPING at a time when even the shop owners were reluctant to sell. They were having the time of their lives. Laughing, cheering about how they got the best price possible cause the shopkeeper was too dehydrated to resist their battering. The heat seemed to simply bounce off of them, how can a man resist such strenght and beauty, and intelligence. to come out to do something that you like at a time when you like, at a time that the opponent is at his weakest. The women all over this city are natural generals, right ful heirs to San Tzu and his art of war theories. At a time when all is bad, hair is burnt, cars over heat, air conditioners give up, roads crack, the ladies can put on make up, wear stilletos and walk the walk and talk the talk. Bah! chauvanist fools! Man's world, just beware all corporate people and other important fools, just beware of the day when a woman finally decides that she has shopped enough for the day, that will be the last day you sit in your plush sofa behind your mahogany desk pushing your expensive pen. it will be the revolutionary day of the much awaited coup, and your thrones will be slid from right under you. The only problem that might arise from all this is, that as soon as she takes over the office, she would want to shop again, you have to do something about the decoration you know, it looks like rat lived in here for a thousand years! and frankly cant have any doubt about the rat part anyways.

Poem..Mylog0003.04

You know it
Just the way I told it
We spent our lives dreaming
To see a rose blooming
Only to know it is screaming
And we long to leave this place
To go to some afar in space
Alone, no one near us

Expression that comes itself
It is evident is not forthcoming
Forced acceptance akin to denial
Self torture mass suicide
Of our nonchalant existence
Let us put as much distance between us and sanity
Taste of tears and smell of my fears
The sea, its breeze and its salinity

All that is pretty
All that is dainty
So full of hate
So much love for pity
Yes I am alone here
Said my prayers, seen the end is near
I want to go there
Alone or with you
Life, it needs a shove and a push

I’ve done with love,
Done with out being sorry
For the loss of one, when all is gone
And till the drowning of the sun

I’ve said my prayers,
Said them for life
Been on my knees
Been there for you
When you were there and now
When you are gone

I’ve said my prayers
With the rising sun
And till it drowns
Am tired now, will leave
Alone and without you
To hell where my life has gone
And come back with the rising sun
The day it doesn’t dawn
On a day that will not drown

why does anything have to have a title?gutterlog0002.04

SALAM,
THIS IS GOING TO FIND YOU IN GOOD HEALTH, THAT I BELIEVE AND HAVE FAITH IN, CAUSE I HAVE FAITH IN THE ALLMIGHTY. THIS MAIL IS GOING TO BE IN CAPS,CAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO TYPE IT IN NORMAL FONT. THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING A CHOICE AND DESTINY. WHETHER THE FIRST STATEMENT IS TRUE OR NOT, I DO NOT KNOW, BUT I HOPE IT IS, BECAUSE I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT WHAT SO EVER, I DO HAVE A SEMBLANCE OF CONTROL OVER THE FONT OF MY MAIL. SIMILARLY IN EVERY OTHER THING GOD HAS GIVEN US A CHOICE. I HAD A CHOICE, I COULD HAVE TURNED OFF THE TV, CHANGED THE CHANEL, PUT ON A MOVIE OF MY CHOICE. BUT I THOUGHT, HELL I BOUGHT THE MOVIE, AND NEVER WATCHED IT, IT IS ON THE CABLE, NOTHING MUCH TO DO, LET'S JUST WATCH IT, AND I DID. AMERICAN PSHYCO, IS A STYLISHLY CARVED, WELL EDITED, SHOCKING EXCURSION INTO THE NOT SO AVERAGE BUT OBSESSIVELY AMBITOUS MIND OF AN AMERICAN CORPORATE OFFICER. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE ANY INDIVIDUAL THOUGHT PROCESS, DO NOT WATCH IT. IT CAN PROVIDE PLEASURE AND A BIT OF INSIGHT, BUT DESPITE ITS LONG MONOLOGUES FROM THE MAIN CHARATER, IT IS NOTHING BUT A ROAD TRIP TO A COCAINE FUELED HELL. A VEHICLE TO FAME AND FORTUNE, TO BE DIFFERENT IS WHAT THE MOVIE TEAM HAS AIMED. IT IS OLD AND IS EQUALLY SHITTY. IF YOU COME ACROSS SOMEONE WHO LIKES THE MOVIE, PLEASE MAKE SURE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT PERSON. IT IS NOT THAT THE PERSON IS A PSHYCO, BUT IT MIGHT GIVE YOU AN INSIGHT INTO WHAT SORT OF GREY MATTER HE POSSESSES. I HAVE ALWAYS ADVOCATED THAT ANYTHING RELATED TO AESTHETICS AND TASTES OF A PERSON ARE HIS OR HER INDIVIDUAL HOICES. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE WRONG IF YOU HAVE THE FLINTSTONES AS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE. THE REASON COULD BE ANYTHING AS TO WHY YOU LIKE THAT PARTICULAR THING SO MUCH, WHY ONE
THING APEALS TO ONE IS DIFFERENT AS COMPARED TO WHY IT APEALS TO ANOTHER. SOME PEOPLE WATCH A WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE OF ONE CHARACTER, SOME FOR ALL OF EM, SOME FOR THE SOUNDTRACK, SOME OF TEH ENDING, SOME FOR THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. BUT YOU CANNOT SAY THEY ARE WRONG. NEITHER AM I
SAYING THAT THE PERSON WHO LIKES THE MOVIE IS WRONG. ALL I AM SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT IF HE LIKES THE MOVIE. I LIKE THE WAY IT WAS MADE, THE SINGULAR SHOCK IT DELIVERED TO ME WAS SUBTLE AND I REALISED THAT I HAD HAD ONE THE DAY AFTER WATCHING IT. HOWEVER WHAT EVER THE MOVIE ENTAILS IS NOT AT
ALL GOOD NOR IS IT HEALTHY.
MY RECOMMENDATION:
READ THE BOOK IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT DONT WATCH THE MOVIE ON A FULL STOMACH. MY
SOURCES TELL ME THAT THE UNEDITED VERSION CONTAINS ORIGINALLY EDITED SCENES
OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE.

REGARDS
D

gutterlog 0001.04

beep beep beep